Archive for June, 2008

To Exercise or Not to Exercise Joke


1. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.

2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3. I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

4. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

5. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

Clever And Stupid Things


How To Grow Taller

Many of you out there may have wished you could add an inch or two to your length, that’s just natural. Now we’re not saying that short people are worse off than tall people, because that would just get us in trouble, but there’s nothing wrong in wanting to add to that below-average height. There are no guaranteed ways to do this, but there are several sensible – and a few idiotic – methods to try and grow taller. Here are the best. And probably the worst…


Step 1:

STUPID – Home-Made Rack

Make a rack using your bed, a few ropes and some form of winch. Then get someone to stretch you like they did in medieval prisons. This is of course a ridiculous idea and could result in some fairly serious problems…

Step 2:

CLEVER – Nutrition

There are 6 important nutrients needed for growth and good health. Maintaining a healthy, well balanced diet that includes the right mix of Vitamins, Carbohydrates, Fats, Minerals, Proteins and Water is a great way to naturally increase the body’s growth.

Step 3:

STUPID – Act Like A Giraffe

Giraffes are pretty tall, so why not mimic our biological cousins? Put your meals in trees and add height by forcing yourself to reach higher and higher. This is in no way a completely stupid thing to do…

Step 4:

CLEVER – Improve Your Posture

Many people rob themselves of extra inches simply by having poor posture. Make sure you stand straight and erect. Carry your head high with your chin up and don’t allow your shoulders to droop forward. Be careful not to develop a rigid, overly stiff posture and instead attempt to maintain it properly in a relaxed and comfortable manner
- you may be surprised by how tall you actually were in the first place!

Step 5:

STUPID – Make Your Own Stilts

Not only is this cheating, but it will also make you look ridiculous and will more often that not leave you on your arse. Those people that wear them in the circus aren’t actually that tall, and you should laugh at yourself for even considering it…

Step 6:

CLEVER – Sleep Properly

The bat idea is rubbish, but good sleeping habits can help with growth. Make sure you get proper rest (about 8 hours a night), make sure your mattress is firm and supports the body and most importantly stop using a pillow. A pillow pushes your head forward and arches the back, so without one your body can rest as straight as possible. Sleep on your back with your torso straight and fully extended and this could well help you discover some extra inches…

Step 7:

STUPID – Break Your Legs

There is an ancient practice involving the breaking off leg bones and placing them in traction that it said add length to your legs. Whether or not this is true is redundant, as either way it’s gonna really really hurt and end up with you having stupid looking legs…

Step 8:

CLEVER – Stretch And Exercise

Regular stretching and exercise can also help add some all important inches. Stretch your arms and legs as far as they will go, and work on stretching your neck muscles. Any recreational exercise will help as it helps maintain a healthy, fit body, giving it every chance of developing more than a that of a lazy couch potato…
In the end, there are easier ways to improve your self-esteem and you really shouldn’t worry about your height, but you can still take note of our clever, serious suggestions to help you grow. And feel free to disregard the silly ones. They shouldn’t really be there anyway…good luck getting bigger!

by VideoJug

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