1. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.

2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3. I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

4. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

5. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

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